The Artwork of Laura J. Smith

Barbaro's Legacy - My visit to New Bolton Center

2008-01-30T13:21:00.001-06:00

Monday, January 28th 2008
UPENN New Bolton Center, Kennett Square Pennsylvania

On Monday morning my husband Paul, Dad, Kim and I arrived at New Bolton Center in Kennett Square, PA. Barbaro was euthanized on Monday, January 29th 2007. Today was one day before the calendar anniversary of his death. I chose this day the 28th specifically to present the donation to celebrate Barbaro's legacy he left one year ago on a Monday. So many good positive things have happened because of his life and the Fund to Fight Laminitis to me was one of the most important.

Lyn Gilbert was also invited to present a donation that the Fans of Barbaro had collected during a fundraising effort called the “Honoring Barbaro’s Life and Legacy Campaign.” Since Lyn lives in the area she offered to present the check on behalf of the FOB's who contributed.

When I made the arrangements for this event, my contact at UPENN, Kate Judge, instructed me to meet her in the lobby of New Bolton Center between 11:30am and 12:00pm. While waiting we enjoyed a little time chatting with Lyn Gilbert and she shared with us a book she wrote that is coming out next month. A lovely children's story and though there wasn't time to read the whole thing she shared with us what it was about. The illustrations were so excellent it was fun looking through them.

After a short time we were greeted by Jennifer Rench a Communications and Marketing Coordinator at UPENN. She escorted us into a conference room. Kate Judge arrived shortly after and they gave us each a packet of information to take home all about the UPENN vet school. I have to thank Kate for planning and organizing this entire event with me. She was so generous and enthusiastic about our trip out to Pennsylvania to give this money I felt really great after every conversation we had together. I thank her also for allowing me to bring my Dad and his wife along, that meant so much to me, and also for letting Lyn be included in on our plans with the other donation as well.

Dr Corinne Sweeney the Associate Dean and Hospital Director came into the room and gave us the warmest greeting. What an absolutely lovely kind woman and a gracious host she was!! I so enjoyed talking with her. I gave her a Barbaro- America's Champion ornament and she held it in her hands and told me she would treasure it always. At one point my Dad brought over the Barbaro limited edition prints I had brought with and said, "Excuse me, proud father, take a look at the image in a larger size. My daughter drew this with a pencil, and an eraser. Thats it!" I guess he's entitled to brag a bit about his daughter we get to see each other so rarely because we live so far apart. hehe.

We also got another visitor in the room. Libby, she is one of the employees at UPENN who takes care of 85% of all of the animals on the campus. She called them her "kids". She lives right there on the grounds and she told us she gets up at 2:00 AM every day to begin her work feeding and caring for them. It made me tired just to listen to all she does and she summed her life up beautifully saying, "Its not an easy life but its an honest one!" She has worked there for over 20 years. Here is a photo of her with one of the blood donor horses. He was a warmblood and as soon as I remember his name I'll edit this! He was absolutely beautiful!!

When she saw my portrait of Barbaro, (Dad had to show her... haha) she said she would like me to do a portrait of ALL of her "kids"! This would be probably 200 animals? We all laughed but I got the feeling she wasn't really joking. She would have loved that. We chatted with her for a long while and it was so fun to hear about her life and experiences.

Then Dr Richardson walked into the room. I tell you the entire room just lit up and there was a face I knew so well!! All of the photos and press conferences I had seen just flooded into my mind, and the life he shared with our beloved Barbaro walked into the room with him. It was all there and filled my head and my heart. I jumped to my feet to greet him and shook off the tears that wanted to come. I wanted to make sure this stayed a happy uplifting moment for him especially on this day. It was important to me to focus on the positive things that Barbaro began. Seeing Dr Richardson right in the room with me did bring back all of the memories. He had just come out of a surgery and greeted all of us very enthusiastically.

Jennifer and Kate explained to him who I was and when we mentioned the ornaments he said, "I know all about them I had one hanging on my Christmas tree this year." He looked at me and said, "You sent it to me." He shook hands with all of us and Lyn Gilbert brought him the check from the FOB fundraiser. They posed for photographs and then it was my turn. I had brought a mock check that I made on powerpoint. We stood together and everyone in the room took photos of us. I want to point out that on the check, there is a check number in the top corner just like a normal check would have. This check number however, number 561 was the exact number of ornaments that were sold and shipped out to people all over the US. Almost every single state in the US had an ornament sent to someone living there and several also went to Canada and the UK. I must take this time to thank all of the Fans of Barbaro and others who purchased ornaments knowing that profits from the sales would be going to the Fund to Fight Laminitis. Of course without all of you this moment would have never happened!!

I had also brought with me five Barbaro - America's Champion limited edition prints and Dr Richardson had previously confirmed he would be more then happy to autograph them! He sat down at the conference table and signed each one while I explained to him the specific numbers I chose from the edition.

1/150 (because it was the first of the edition.)
8/150 (8 was the number of Barbaro's saddle cloth in the Kentucky Derby)
28/150 (Today was the 28th of January)
29/150 (The 29th being the day of both Barbaro's birth and passing)
132/150 (Kentucky Derby 132)

Dr Richardson signed each one beautifully and asked me if I knew where or when I would be selling them. I explained that I had no immediate plans but I would be looking for fundraising opportunities where I could possibly donate one for a silent auction or something like that. I have written to the Jacksons and have offered one to them sometime in the future when they have one of the many fundraisers they've had with other Barbaro items. I will be looking for the right opportunities for these very special prints.

Lyn Gilbert gave Dr Richardson an essay that was written by an FOB to read at his leisure and he took the folder she gave it to him. He talked about a few of his current patients including one he had just worked on which was a tiny miniature appaloosa foal. We also talked about the significance of all of the donations made to the Fund to Fight Laminitis and I mentioned the other famous race horses who succumbed to the disease and he added, "not to mention the many many horses who have come through here. I worry about my own horses getting laminitis, it is a terrible disease and very difficult to treat medically." He thanked us again for our donations and left the conference room.

Here is the press release from UPENN that was added to their website that same day:
Barbaro’s legacy endures as anniversary approaches

Another press release can be found on The Bloodhorse Magazine posted on January 29th, 2008
Barbaro's Legacy Continues

Update: Press release from TheHorse.com posted 1/29/08:
Barbaro's Legacy Lives On At UPENN

Press release from the NTRA (National Thoroughbred Racing Association posted 1/29/08:
Barbaro's Legacy Continues

Delaware Online Article posted 2/2/08:
A Year Later, Barbaro's Legacy is Still Strong

DVM - The News Magazine of Veterinary Medicine Posted 2/1/08
Funds started in Barbaro's name still growing

After our amazing visit with Dr Richardson, Jennifer Rench escorted our little group on a tour of the hospital. One of the first buildings we went inside was the Equine Sports Medicine building. Here inside you can see a treadmill the horses are worked on for diagnostic purposes. They are asked to run at any gate from a walk to a full gallop. They will be measured for oxygen intake and a scope is put down inside their lungs to look for any injuries or pathogens.

She showed us some large tubing in the corner with a flower pot duct taped to the end of it. The tubing is very expensive special tubing from NASA used for collecting information on the air the horse is breathing out (I'm sure I'm not explaining this well) and the flower pot just seemed to work best for strapping it onto the horse's face! Sometimes the simplest things make the best tools!

Here is the ultrasound unit. Basically it houses all the same equipment as a human ultrasound room only on a much larger scale! This room has the capability of working with two horses at one time. Each horse is held in the iron stocks.

This next part gets very emotional. I have trouble even looking at these photos and writing about it is rather difficult. The next part of our tour was the orthopedic surgical suite. Yes, where Barbaro was treated for his injuries. Here in fact is a photo of the actual room Barbaro had his surgery in. It is empty at this time, the preparations are done in the doors you can see through the window and then the horse is wheeled into this room for the actual surgery. If a cast is required or other treatments they are done in the room on the other side of those blue doors as well.

For a very severe orthopedic case, the horse is then moved from the surgery suite on a railing system and they are placed onto this raft (you know the story) and submersed in the 98 degree water to be woken up. Yes, this is the recovery pool where Barbaro woke up after every time he was placed under general anesthesia. Horses wake up from anesthesia quite violently because they are disoriented as they are coming to. Their "flight or fight" instincts kick in and they can hurt themselves or their caretakers during the process. This pool allows for them to kick out as their instincts react but they remain safe from further injury. It is the only pool like it of its kind.

Walking into this room was absolutely the most emotional moment I had during this visit. I remember the night of Barbaro's first surgery and having checked out the UPENN website that day I saw a video of how the pool was used. As I was searching all of the websites for any news while the whole world knew he was having surgery, I cried tears of joy and relief when someone posted, "He's in the pool." I'll never forget that moment. I at least knew then that Dr Richardson felt the surgery went well enough to wake him up. Standing right here where it happened brought the memories back. Waiting, waiting, waiting.... HOPE.

After waking up, Barbaro was then lifted out of his "life raft" (my name for it) and using this railing system he was brought into another padded room with rubber flooring where he was fully expected to stand, and walk to his stall in the ICU unit on his own four legs. Another miracle!

I remember Dr Richardson reporting that Barbaro practically dragged them to his stall! What a great vet he is. Not only did he have the skills to perform such a difficult surgery, he had the sense of knowing how much the whole world was hanging on his every word, and with his humor he put our minds at ease. Yet, he made sure that it was clear that full recovery would be a very long haul if at all possible. We all learned to take it one day at a time and that was initiated by this wonderful man.

We were not able to get a tour of the ICU unfortunately. There had been an emergency case brought in and there was too much activity going on inside to accomodate visitors. We did visit the outside of the ICU and here is a photograph of the outside of Barbaro's stall. The last two windows were the ones he looked out of every day and was reported to have "whistled at the girls" when he saw some mares walking by. Dr Richardson was very encouraged by this because it showed Barbaro's wonderful positive attitude shortly following such a major injury. Jennifer also explained to us that the doors on the very end of the building are the ones Barbaro went through as he was unloaded from the trailer following his journey from Pimlico Race Track.

Our tour ended in what I feel is a very fitting place. Barbaro's memorial bench purchased by the fans who loved him so much. It is in a perfect place, a quiet spot through the doors leading outside the lobby to the hospital facilities. I love the idea of people passing this bench on their way to the other buildings, so they can remember all of the good things Barbaro has brought to New Bolton Center. It is also a wonderful reminder of the slogan they have adopted since then, "We treat every patient like a champion".

This was a weekend that has been placed as a major mark on my timeline of life. Moments I will never forget.

Before leaving we stopped back to say goodbye to Dr Sweeney. She had graciously allowed us to put some of our things in her office so we did not have to carry them around on our tour. We came by her office to pick them up and to give her one last hug, thank her for our time together and to say goodbye. She had a single white rose on her desk from the Fans of Barbaro and prepared lovingly by Kennett Florist.

Once I was in our car, just me and my husband I allowed the tears to fall. I will always miss Barbaro and I will always wish he were still with us. But I celebrate his life and the wonderful endeavors that have come from it. One year later they are still going strong. Many people are changed from having known him and I am no exception. He will always be in my heart.

Visit to Pennsylvania 1/26 - 1/28 2008

2008-01-30T10:20:00.001-06:00

Saturday 1/26:
Strasburg, Pennsylvania:

I just got home this morning from a trip to Pennsylvania. The main purpose of my trip was to present a check for $3619.00 to Dr Dean Richardson at New Bolton Center for the UPENN Fund to Fight Laminitis. This was the money I earned selling the Barbaro America's Champion ornaments over the holidays.

We arrived in Strasburg Pennsylvania on Saturday, January 26th. We stayed at a very nice hotel called The Fulton Steamboat Inn. The hotel is a replica of an actual Louisianna Steamboat. Very lovely place. Since we drove through the night Paul stayed at the hotel and I called my Dad who lives in Strasburg. He came and picked me up and I spent the rest of the day visiting with him and his wife Kim, and my brother Daniel. Later Paul joined us after a few hours of sleeping and we had a wonderful dinner.

Sunday 1/27:
Fairhill Training Center, Elkton, Maryland:

Double Trouble Stable

On Sunday morning January 27th, (My birthday) We met two fellow Fans of Barbaro (FOB's) at Double Trouble Stables at Fair Hill Training Center in Elkton Maryland. This is the same training center where Barbaro was trained by Michael Matz who has his barn nearby. Tim Woolley is the main trainer at Double Trouble. He was so generous to allow us to visit with his horses. I don't get to be around them very often anymore so this was a real treat for me. I loved every minute of it!

Donna and Lyn visit these horses every Sunday and they bring carrots and treats. I didn't bring anything for the horses when I came because having never been there before I didn't know if it would be allowed. Donna was generous enough to share her carrots with me and introduced me to all of the horses. She and Lyn knew all of them and their names.
I could tell these horses were used to getting a lot of attention. All of them seemed very well loved.
Here is a photo of Donna and Lyn with one of their favorite horses named Da Doo Ron Ron!

Donna made sure she brought treats for all, even the barn cats got spoiled that day!

Paul is not particularly a horse lover. His main claim is that "Horses can smell fear and therefore they all want to kill me." Haha. Not so. I think this one was completely enamored with him. I turned around and saw the horse reaching as far out as he could trying to get Paul's attention. He on the other hand was trying to stay in the center of the barn with his hands in his pockets so that they couldn't "get him". I laughed so hard. Does this horse look like it is smelling his fear? Or just begging for a carrot?

Don't let Paul fool you. Every time he goes into a restaurant that offers peppermints he takes a few and keeps them in the car because he knows horses love them. He went to the car and brought back a whole handful of them for me!! Horses love peppermints just like sugar cubes and the peppermints are actually good for their digestive system. Here is a photo of me unwrapping a peppermint. You can see how they know that sound and they know exactly what is to come as soon as it is unwrapped! When giving them a treat you need to hold your hand flat. They don't always know the difference between your finger and a carrot.

We also met another FOB and a photographer out at Fair Hill named Jim Course. He was able to get permission for us to visit Graham Motion barn where we were able to meet the champion race horse Better Talk Now. We were greeted by his rider and trainer Fannella O'Flynn.
She introduced us to "Blackie" and also to a few other horses including a new star at the stable named Danzon. She has already won quite a few races and everyone is excited to see what she can do this season.

Later we chatted with Jim Course about the latest news in horse racing. He also took us out to see the training track where the horses are trained. By the time we got out there there were no horses working out but it was fun to see the track where Barbaro was trained and prepped for his Kentucky Derby win.

We left Fair Hill and Lyn, Donna, my husband, and I went into Kennett Square. We had a lovely lunch at a place called Newtons.

Back in Strasburg I celebrated my birthday at my Dad's and Kim had dinner all ready when we arrived. My favorite dish she makes called Chicken Cordon Bleu. She is also famous (at least to our family) for her amazing chocolate cake. It was such a nice surprise and the whole day was a wonderful way to spend my birthday!

Monday 1/28
Strasburg, PA

I got up pretty early on Monday morning and took my camera outside to take a few photos of the surrounding area. The hotel had an adorable pond on one side full of mallard ducks. They were so cute!

I think Mallards are one of the prettiest kinds of ducks. Both the males and females are beautiful yet completely different.

Strasburg of course is Amish Country and they were busy with their normal daily lives just like the rest of the citizens. I have a little problem with them, being a person who absolutely adores horses I have seen so many pulling those buggies who were terribly lame. I understand that to the Amish they are just a vehicle but the truth is that they are a living, breathing, feeling animal and they should not be used if they are in pain. I respect and appreciate the lifestyle of the Amish community and their craftmanship but I do have issues with how some of them their animals. Of course there are many people in the horse industry who misuse their horses (thinking about the big lick Tennessee Walkers among others). This horse with his proud gate and lively look to him was in fact bobbing his head each time he stepped on his right front hoof indicating that he too was not sound. You can't tell from the photograph but you can see his spirit! What a beautiful horse!

Before making our journey to New Bolton Center we stopped in at Kennett Florist. For eight months they were the liason between Barbaro's fans and Barbaro and his staff! Almost every day they made deliveries of Carrots, pears, peppermints and other goodies for Barbaro (shared with the other animals there) and Bagels, donuts, and other refreshments for the staff. The Fans of Barbaro wanted to pour out our love to everyone at New Bolton and it was Kennett Florist who made it happen for us.

Rachel was there that Monday morning and greeted me with a big hug. We had a great talk reminiscing about Barbaro and she told me how her son loved him as well. I presented her with two Christmas ornaments that were purchased for her and Alie by the Midwest Fans of Barbaro. Rachel often came onto the Alex Brown Racing website where the FOB's all meet to congregate and plan our efforts and she would tell us all about each delivery made to the hospital. She would give us any update she could about the "Big Boss Horse" (Barbaro) while he was a patient there. Whoever was writing from Kennett Florist would always end their updates with "We believe!" They still make deliveries all over the US for other people and horses on behalf of the Fans of Barbaro.

Barbaro

2007-11-06T11:41:00.000-06:00

If I were to chose one thing that has been the highlight of my year it would have to be my portraits of Barbaro. I watched him sail home six lengths ahead of some really good horses in the Kentucky Derby in 2006 and became absolutely smitten with the horse. I was certain that we had another triple crown winner!!

Trouble

When I sat down to watch The Preakness Stakes I was very excited until I saw him break early from the gate. I just knew something horrible was going to happen. I started to cry. My husband didn't understand why and I just kept saying, "Please scratch him!! Please don't put him back in the gate!!" Then of course we all watched in horror as this gorgeous champion broke down. I was bawling!! Remembering back it was sort of interesting that through my tears I heard the phone ring, knew it would be my mother who was watching from home, and I heard my dear husband just quietly say to her, "She's doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances."

I remember thinking how strange that was. He wasn't even my horse! Yet he was because I had already given him a place in my heart. Right next to my childhood hero, Man O' War! Sounds crazy I know... but that is obviously where the term "Horse crazy" came from! We're a committed society. Or should be anyway! =P

Alex

I immediately headed to the internet for information. I searched and I googled and I looked for forums and found a few. One of them referred everyone to a link to Tim Woolley Racing's website. Tim Woolley is a trainer at Fair Hill where Michael Matz trained Barbaro. The headline said it all. "Fair Hill is Devastated."

Alex Brown worked for Tim Woolley and was the person who kept the website updated. Mercifully, Alex understood that there were many many people searching for any news and he committed himself to providing it. We knew when Barbaro was in surgery, we knew when he was in "the pool" where he woke up from the anesthesia a very dangerous process for horses. I was able to check his website every day several times a day (and I did!!) for the entire eight months that Barbaro was hospitalized and knew exactly how he was doing. Checking on his daily progress just made me love him all the more. I have become a true Fan of Barbaro. I was enthralled with how things changed so much between Dr Richardson and his remarkable patient. Initially after the surgery he told the press, "We are only trying to salvage the horse for the purpose of breeding. He has value as a breeding animal." He was somewhat uncommitted emotionally to the situation.

Dr Richardson

Over time though I watched Dr Richardson change completely. This horse was so brave and intelligent. He fought hard to survive, and had such a unique personality that everyone who worked with him said they'd never known a horse like him. I watched a relationship a true friendship form between Dr Richardson and Barbaro. They trusted each other. They believed in each other. Neither of them lost focus or hope no matter how bad things got.

Then one fateful morning, January 29th 2007 (two days after my birthday) it was announced that he had been euthanized. I was at work and sent an email to all of my friends and family to please not call me. It was all I could do to maintain some sort of composure. I thought he would make it. I really did. The minute I got home I cried my eyes out and then pulled up the press conference with Dr Richardson, and Mr & Mrs Jackson talking about Barbaro, all that he meant to them and why they made the decision they did. I saw so much pain in Dr Richardson's eyes and I was SO grateful to him for all that he had done. That very night.. to satisfy a crazy impossible need to give Barbaro back to Dr Richardson I drew a portrait of him with Barbaro. There was a song I listened to while I drew it that summed up perfectly their experience and trust for each other.

If its the only thing I do. I'll keep alive my faith in you.
I gave a lot away, but one thing I've never done
Is given up hope by taking my eyes off the horizon
I know they say no one can keep love from fading
Its not unlike watching a ship sail out to sea.
Each day there's no return you weaken from waiting
Until all love is gone, but they'll never prove that by me!

Goodbye

My heart ached for the Jacksons as well. They came out to visit him every single day and because they hated seeing Barbaro cooped up in the stall Mrs Jackson brought him a basket of hand picked grass each day from their own farm. They would hand feed it to him themselves. Can you imagine the tender moments that passed between them during their time together? Can you imagine how he would listen for their voices and nicker a greeting to them as they brought him his grass every day? Can you imagine bringing him his grass on the morning of January 29th, feeding it to him just like any normal day but this day right after he finished you had to say goodbye? Can you imagine the next day having no reason to go out and pick any more grass?

The thought plagued me! It devastated me each day thinking about Mr & Mrs Jackson and the hole that was created in their lives that day.

Reaching back trying to touch the moment,
Each precious minute that you were mine.
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way.
To let them go a little more each day?

The Champion

Mrs Jackson always wants people to remember Barbaro from before his mis-step. When he was winning the Kentucky Derby. When he was alive and strong and in command. I hadn't had enough of drawing his portraits. There was one more to do!

My motivation to do this portrait however, was out of envy from a pencil drawing another artist had posted on another website. It was a head shot and the detail and texture the artist accomplished just made me completely question my own abilities. I knew then that I needed to bring my work to that level.

So it was for reasons other then my love for Barbaro that I chose this particular portrait to do. The goal? Texture. A shiny eye, the long hair of the forelock and short hair of the face reflecting the sun. A stitched leather halter. A soft mushy horse muzzle... I needed to be able to capture all of them much better than before.

It was very very challenging for me and when I finished it I scanned the portrait into my computer and there he was on the monitor before me. Barbaro. My heart just melted. He looked so alive that I just began to sob. It was unfair that he looked more alive on my paper than he was in real life.

Though my motivation was purely educational I learned that my heart doesn't seem to care about what my head wants! I've grown accustomed to his face.. I now know every hair, every wrinkle and marking. It was love.

The Laminitis Fund

In time, I shared this new portrait of Barbaro with the infamous "Fans of Barbaro" made up of all of those who came to the forum where Alex Brown was posting updates about him. They asked if I could make prints and greeting cards with this image. I contacted the Jacksons and they agreed to letting me reproduce the image. I did promise to donate portions of the profits to the Fund to Fight Laminitis at the University of Pennsylvania. A fund created in his memory as they are determined to find a cure.

See, Barbaro's fractured leg healed completely. He could have gone home to be a horse. Unfortunately the deadly hoof disease that is every horse owner's worst nightmare set in first in one hoof, but eventually in three hooves and that was just more then he could take.

We lost the great Secretariat to laminitis as well as Triple Crown winner Affirmed and Sunday Silence, the Kentucky Derby & Preakness Stakes winner who went on to become one of the greatest sires in the world.

As the holiday season is approaching the Fans of Barbaro wanted to participate in another fund raiser. They wanted an ornament with his image on it. They chose my portrait of Bobby (his nickname) for the ornament and they have been selling as fast as I can get them in! $5.00 from the sale of each ornament will be donated to the Fund to Fight Laminitis and so far we have raised over $1000.00!!

Recently, There have been a few press releases and one of them on TheHorse.com which generated a flood of new orders! TheHorse.com

Another press release went out yesterday in Indiana: Franklin Township Online News

Lastly, I would like to share a song and a video of the Work in Progress as I drew this portrait of Barbaro. Please listen to the words, it sums up the experience of knowing and loving this horse so perfectly.

It was Beautiful!!

Current Events

2007-11-05T04:49:00.000-06:00

October 21, 2007 - November 18, 2007

Artists Connected Exhibition at the Brewhouse

I belong to a small group of artists and together we are finding ways to exhibit our artwork throughout the world. Our group is a called "Artists Connected" and we now have an exhibition going on at The Brewhouse Art Galleries in Burton-Upon-Trent Staffordshire England.

Two of our members live in England and they are tending the gallery for us.

Members of our group in the exhibition are: Jennifer Blenkinsopp, Steph Salt, Chris Callahan, Linda Eades Blackburn, Patrick Miller, Wendy Bandurski- Miller, Joan Warburton, Patricia McCarty, John Houle, Marty Yankawonis, Kari Korhonen, and myself.

UPDATE 11/6/07: Prince Edward of Wales will be at The Brewhouse TODAY. Jennifer Blenkinsopp and Steph Salt have been invited to attend his visit and he will be viewing the exhibition!!!

Welcome to my Blog

2007-11-04T12:53:00.000-06:00

I guess this is as good of a time as any to start at the beginning!! I don't tell people that I've always been an artist although the truth is that I have. I've always had the strong urge and desire to draw and that has been ever since I can remember. I just wasn't very good!

All of my schoolwork and literally any paper you put in front of me would have some sort of a horse like figure scribbled onto it. I have always attributed that to my love for horses not a love for art. Horses, horses horses. That was all that was ever on my mind when I was young.

But right now, writing about this as a person who is 42 years old and a fairly accomplished equine artist, I must admit that to this day horses are still always on my mind and I am still scribbling pictures of them on whatever you put in front of me... so nothing has changed! I've just improved! ;)

I don't have any of my earliest childhood scribbles
but I do have a painting from high school this was Shiloh, my sister's collie that I chose for the subject. She was on the side of our home in Libertyville, Illinois when we lived there. We'll just call this my "Monet" era!! LOL I probably chose this photo because I so loved that dog and sadly she died (hit by car) before we could move to Salem, Wisconsin where I went to high school.

When I was 19 and living in Germany training Quarter horses I remember sitting at the kitchen table paging through a horse magazine and getting the urge to draw a horse that I saw on one of the pages. I ran up to my room and

grabbed my sketchbook. See? I always had a sketchbook! I thought when I finished that it was probably the best drawing I'd ever done. I showed it to my boss and he kinda shrugged his shoulders and said, "It's O.K." He was right. It was only "O.K." Thinking back though, it really was a step toward improvement.

What it did do for me was satisfy an itch to draw at the time. An itch I've always had to scratch on occasion. Riding and training horses satisfied so much in my life I will always want to be near them and this passion for horses has never dimmed. I think it is a blessing to be born with a passion for something. I know a few people who aren't. I'm doubly blessed because I have a great passion for two things, and one connects me to the other and vice versa.

In 1994, literally one night, something in me changed. My art took a complete transformation and in a matter of hours I became something else.

If I have always been an artist then I don't know what this pencil drawing made me. A good artist perhaps? It was not unusual for me to be paging through a horse book or magazine and want to draw one of the pictures I saw. Happened all the time with similar results to the drawing I did in Germany. This time was completely different. I was watching a movie on TV with my husband and whenever there was a commercial I went back to the table and worked a little more. It came so easily. It was finished by the time the movie was over and I could not believe my eyes. Neither could my husband.

I don't know anyone else who has had an experience like this. All I know is that all my life I knew without question that when I would sit down and do one of these scribbles that this was what I was going for. I knew it was there. Somewhere. I just didn't know how to find it.

I wonder if everyone is born knowing there is something inside them that they need to find? I feel very fortunate to have found it.