Barbaro

If I were to chose one thing that has been the highlight of my year it would have to be my portraits of Barbaro. I watched him sail home six lengths ahead of some really good horses in the Kentucky Derby in 2006 and became absolutely smitten with the horse. I was certain that we had another triple crown winner!!

Trouble

When I sat down to watch The Preakness Stakes I was very excited until I saw him break early from the gate. I just knew something horrible was going to happen. I started to cry. My husband didn't understand why and I just kept saying, "Please scratch him!! Please don't put him back in the gate!!" Then of course we all watched in horror as this gorgeous champion broke down. I was bawling!! Remembering back it was sort of interesting that through my tears I heard the phone ring, knew it would be my mother who was watching from home, and I heard my dear husband just quietly say to her, "She's doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances."

I remember thinking how strange that was. He wasn't even my horse! Yet he was because I had already given him a place in my heart. Right next to my childhood hero, Man O' War! Sounds crazy I know... but that is obviously where the term "Horse crazy" came from! We're a committed society. Or should be anyway! =P

Alex

I immediately headed to the internet for information. I searched and I googled and I looked for forums and found a few. One of them referred everyone to a link to Tim Woolley Racing's website. Tim Woolley is a trainer at Fair Hill where Michael Matz trained Barbaro. The headline said it all. "Fair Hill is Devastated."

Alex Brown worked for Tim Woolley and was the person who kept the website updated. Mercifully, Alex understood that there were many many people searching for any news and he committed himself to providing it. We knew when Barbaro was in surgery, we knew when he was in "the pool" where he woke up from the anesthesia a very dangerous process for horses. I was able to check his website every day several times a day (and I did!!) for the entire eight months that Barbaro was hospitalized and knew exactly how he was doing. Checking on his daily progress just made me love him all the more. I have become a true Fan of Barbaro. I was enthralled with how things changed so much between Dr Richardson and his remarkable patient. Initially after the surgery he told the press, "We are only trying to salvage the horse for the purpose of breeding. He has value as a breeding animal." He was somewhat uncommitted emotionally to the situation.

Dr Richardson

Over time though I watched Dr Richardson change completely. This horse was so brave and intelligent. He fought hard to survive, and had such a unique personality that everyone who worked with him said they'd never known a horse like him. I watched a relationship a true friendship form between Dr Richardson and Barbaro. They trusted each other. They believed in each other. Neither of them lost focus or hope no matter how bad things got.

Then one fateful morning, January 29th 2007 (two days after my birthday) it was announced that he had been euthanized. I was at work and sent an email to all of my friends and family to please not call me. It was all I could do to maintain some sort of composure. I thought he would make it. I really did. The minute I got home I cried my eyes out and then pulled up the press conference with Dr Richardson, and Mr & Mrs Jackson talking about Barbaro, all that he meant to them and why they made the decision they did. I saw so much pain in Dr Richardson's eyes and I was SO grateful to him for all that he had done. That very night.. to satisfy a crazy impossible need to give Barbaro back to Dr Richardson I drew a portrait of him with Barbaro. There was a song I listened to while I drew it that summed up perfectly their experience and trust for each other.

If its the only thing I do. I'll keep alive my faith in you.
I gave a lot away, but one thing I've never done
Is given up hope by taking my eyes off the horizon
I know they say no one can keep love from fading
Its not unlike watching a ship sail out to sea.
Each day there's no return you weaken from waiting
Until all love is gone, but they'll never prove that by me!

Goodbye

My heart ached for the Jacksons as well. They came out to visit him every single day and because they hated seeing Barbaro cooped up in the stall Mrs Jackson brought him a basket of hand picked grass each day from their own farm. They would hand feed it to him themselves. Can you imagine the tender moments that passed between them during their time together? Can you imagine how he would listen for their voices and nicker a greeting to them as they brought him his grass every day? Can you imagine bringing him his grass on the morning of January 29th, feeding it to him just like any normal day but this day right after he finished you had to say goodbye? Can you imagine the next day having no reason to go out and pick any more grass?

The thought plagued me! It devastated me each day thinking about Mr & Mrs Jackson and the hole that was created in their lives that day.

Reaching back trying to touch the moment,
Each precious minute that you were mine.
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way.
To let them go a little more each day?

The Champion

Mrs Jackson always wants people to remember Barbaro from before his mis-step. When he was winning the Kentucky Derby. When he was alive and strong and in command. I hadn't had enough of drawing his portraits. There was one more to do!

My motivation to do this portrait however, was out of envy from a pencil drawing another artist had posted on another website. It was a head shot and the detail and texture the artist accomplished just made me completely question my own abilities. I knew then that I needed to bring my work to that level.

So it was for reasons other then my love for Barbaro that I chose this particular portrait to do. The goal? Texture. A shiny eye, the long hair of the forelock and short hair of the face reflecting the sun. A stitched leather halter. A soft mushy horse muzzle... I needed to be able to capture all of them much better than before.

It was very very challenging for me and when I finished it I scanned the portrait into my computer and there he was on the monitor before me. Barbaro. My heart just melted. He looked so alive that I just began to sob. It was unfair that he looked more alive on my paper than he was in real life.

Though my motivation was purely educational I learned that my heart doesn't seem to care about what my head wants! I've grown accustomed to his face.. I now know every hair, every wrinkle and marking. It was love.

The Laminitis Fund

In time, I shared this new portrait of Barbaro with the infamous "Fans of Barbaro" made up of all of those who came to the forum where Alex Brown was posting updates about him. They asked if I could make prints and greeting cards with this image. I contacted the Jacksons and they agreed to letting me reproduce the image. I did promise to donate portions of the profits to the Fund to Fight Laminitis at the University of Pennsylvania. A fund created in his memory as they are determined to find a cure.

See, Barbaro's fractured leg healed completely. He could have gone home to be a horse. Unfortunately the deadly hoof disease that is every horse owner's worst nightmare set in first in one hoof, but eventually in three hooves and that was just more then he could take.

We lost the great Secretariat to laminitis as well as Triple Crown winner Affirmed and Sunday Silence, the Kentucky Derby & Preakness Stakes winner who went on to become one of the greatest sires in the world.

As the holiday season is approaching the Fans of Barbaro wanted to participate in another fund raiser. They wanted an ornament with his image on it. They chose my portrait of Bobby (his nickname) for the ornament and they have been selling as fast as I can get them in! $5.00 from the sale of each ornament will be donated to the Fund to Fight Laminitis and so far we have raised over $1000.00!!


Recently, There have been a few press releases and one of them on TheHorse.com which generated a flood of new orders! TheHorse.com

Another press release went out yesterday in Indiana: Franklin Township Online News

Lastly, I would like to share a song and a video of the Work in Progress as I drew this portrait of Barbaro. Please listen to the words, it sums up the experience of knowing and loving this horse so perfectly.

It was Beautiful!!

Current Events

October 21, 2007 - November 18, 2007

Artists Connected Exhibition at the Brewhouse

I belong to a small group of artists and together we are finding ways to exhibit our artwork throughout the world. Our group is a called "Artists Connected" and we now have an exhibition going on at The Brewhouse Art Galleries in Burton-Upon-Trent Staffordshire England.

Two of our members live in England and they are tending the gallery for us.

Members of our group in the exhibition are: Jennifer Blenkinsopp, Steph Salt, Chris Callahan, Linda Eades Blackburn, Patrick Miller, Wendy Bandurski- Miller, Joan Warburton, Patricia McCarty, John Houle, Marty Yankawonis, Kari Korhonen, and myself.

UPDATE 11/6/07: Prince Edward of Wales will be at The Brewhouse TODAY. Jennifer Blenkinsopp and Steph Salt have been invited to attend his visit and he will be viewing the exhibition!!!

Welcome to my Blog

I guess this is as good of a time as any to start at the beginning!! I don't tell people that I've always been an artist although the truth is that I have. I've always had the strong urge and desire to draw and that has been ever since I can remember. I just wasn't very good!

All of my schoolwork and literally any paper you put in front of me would have some sort of a horse like figure scribbled onto it. I have always attributed that to my love for horses not a love for art. Horses, horses horses. That was all that was ever on my mind when I was young.

But right now, writing about this as a person who is 42 years old and a fairly accomplished equine artist, I must admit that to this day horses are still always on my mind and I am still scribbling pictures of them on whatever you put in front of me... so nothing has changed! I've just improved! ;)

I don't have any of my earliest childhood scribbles
but I do have a painting from high school this was Shiloh, my sister's collie that I chose for the subject. She was on the side of our home in Libertyville, Illinois when we lived there. We'll just call this my "Monet" era!! LOL I probably chose this photo because I so loved that dog and sadly she died (hit by car) before we could move to Salem, Wisconsin where I went to high school.

When I was 19 and living in Germany training Quarter horses I remember sitting at the kitchen table paging through a horse magazine and getting the urge to draw a horse that I saw on one of the pages. I ran up to my room and

grabbed my sketchbook. See? I always had a sketchbook! I thought when I finished that it was probably the best drawing I'd ever done. I showed it to my boss and he kinda shrugged his shoulders and said, "It's O.K." He was right. It was only "O.K." Thinking back though, it really was a step toward improvement.

What it did do for me was satisfy an itch to draw at the time. An itch I've always had to scratch on occasion. Riding and training horses satisfied so much in my life I will always want to be near them and this passion for horses has never dimmed. I think it is a blessing to be born with a passion for something. I know a few people who aren't. I'm doubly blessed because I have a great passion for two things, and one connects me to the other and vice versa.

In 1994, literally one night, something in me changed. My art took a complete transformation and in a matter of hours I became something else.

If I have always been an artist then I don't know what this pencil drawing made me. A good artist perhaps? It was not unusual for me to be paging through a horse book or magazine and want to draw one of the pictures I saw. Happened all the time with similar results to the drawing I did in Germany. This time was completely different. I was watching a movie on TV with my husband and whenever there was a commercial I went back to the table and worked a little more. It came so easily. It was finished by the time the movie was over and I could not believe my eyes. Neither could my husband.

I don't know anyone else who has had an experience like this. All I know is that all my life I knew without question that when I would sit down and do one of these scribbles that this was what I was going for. I knew it was there. Somewhere. I just didn't know how to find it.

I wonder if everyone is born knowing there is something inside them that they need to find? I feel very fortunate to have found it.